Rick Reilly

Rick Reilly wrote an impassioned article on ESPN.com featuring the hero, Brett Major, and the villain, Nebraska football coach, Ron Brown. Coach Brown recently spoke out against an Omaha anti-discrimination law that prohibits employers from firing someone for being gay. Brett Major professes faith in Christ and also claims to be gay. The two are connected because Major says he came to faith while listening to Brown share the gospel.

I have no idea what the law was about. I don’t know Ron Brown and I don’t know Brett Major. But I do think it’s important to address the problem with “being gay.”

Brett’s parents gave the following statement about the situation,

“As much as Ron may think otherwise, gays do not choose to be gay,” Gays can be raised in the ‘perfect’ family environment with parents active and nurturing, raised in the church to become lovers of the scripture. They are Christians — Brett is such an example.”

I don’t expect much disagreement with what I believe the Majors mean when they say “be gay.” They are referring to sexual impulses people of like gender have toward one another. To describe someone as “being gay” people mean the person is sexually attracted to people within their gender. But I have a question; how many impulses must a person have to be categorized as “being gay?” Is it ten? Thirty? If someone has a passing thought did they just become gay? If a mother of two is caught off guard with a fanciful thought about another woman did she just change orientations?  Or do they have to be consistent over a long period of time? Does a month of curiosity as a fourteen-year-old that was followed by fourteen years of heterosexual attraction mean the person is bisexual? What if a self-professed gay man is drawn to a female; did he just change into a heterosexual? Where’s the line? Who defines it? What is “being gay?”

Consider these reports:

The homosexual newspaper The Washington Blade, citing a 1998 study in the Journal of Infectious Diseases, reported that “the study’s data confirmed previous scientific observations that most women who have sex with women also have had sex with men.”[source] The study added that “sex with men in the prior year was common, as were sexual practices between female partners that possibly could transmit HPV.”[source]

A five-year study by the CDC of 3,492 homosexuals aged fifteen to twenty-two found that one in six also had sex with women. Of those having sex with women, one-quarter “said they recently had unprotected sex with both men and women.” Nearly 7 percent of the men in the study were HIV positive. [source]

Are they gay? Are they straight? Were they gay on Friday, but then straight on Saturday? Actually, they’re neither. These are humans engaging in perverted sexual behavior, nothing more, nothing less. Just like promiscuous frat boys, they are seeking selfish sexual satisfaction and aren’t concerned with who satisfies their urge.

I absolutely reject the notion that a person can “be gay.” A person can engage in homosexual activity and a person might have homosexual urges, but to categorize someone based on their sexual attractions is unrealistic, inconsistent, and misses the point. The point of this whole issue is healthy sexual behavior, not this mythical idea of sexual orientation.

Before moving forward, something must be said about the statement, “gays do not choose to be gay.” Properly stated it should read, “people do not choose to have homosexual urges.” Said that way, I have no disagreement. However, what the proponents mean by this type of argument is “people are incapable of controlling their sexual urges. In fact, they are so strong they are the single defining characteristic of their humanity and absolutely must be acted upon.” This is simply not true, and does disservice to an individual’s dignity.

Ellen DeGeneres has value and dignity because she is human, not because she chooses to participate in sexual behavior with other women. Neil Patrick Harris has value and dignity because he is human, not because he acts upon his sexual urges for other men. Brad and Angelina have value because they are human, not because they are into each other. There is so much more to these four people than their moments of sexual fulfillment. However, many who claim to “be gay” are consistently reduced to nothing more than the sum of their impulses. Often they do the reducing.

Brett Major is doing the same thing, “I know God doesn’t make a mistake. He didn’t put me on this earth to be banished to hell.”

First of all, no one is “banished to hell” for being anything: gay, straight, thief, or saint. A person’s eternal destination is based upon their belief or disbelief in Jesus Christ. If someone rejects Christ they won’t be forced to spend eternity with him, God gives them exactly what they desire – eternal separation in Hell. If someone believes in the life and work of Jesus, God gives them what they desire – eternal relationship in Heaven. As Reilly asked, with dangerous sarcasm, “What is he going to do with Jesus?” If someone chooses, like Major, to let his sexual impulses define him more than his spiritual condition one must question the sincerity of his professed belief.

Major bases his identity on his sexual attraction, claiming God made him that way. Did he? Did God make him that way? Let’s see what current research says.

“Despite much research there is no proven explanation of how sexual orientation is determined. However, many scientists share the view that for most people sexual orientation is shaped during the first few years of life through complex interactions of genetic, biological, psychological and social factors. -Australian Psychological Society

Back in the states, the APA says,

There is no consensus among scientists about the exact reasons that an individual develops a heterosexual, bisexual, gay, or lesbian orientation. Although much research has examined the possible genetic, hormonal, developmental, social, and cultural influences on sexual orientation, no findings have emerged that permit scientists to conclude that sexual orientation is determined by any particular factor or factors. Many think that nature and nurture both play complex roles; most people experience little or no sense of choice about their sexual orientation. -American Psychological Association

There is zero evidence of genetic or biological ties to homosexual behavior. Even if there were, do we apply this reasoning consistently? Mr. Major believes his behavior has to be accepted because he is genetically hardwired for it. I wrote about this reasoning in the Jerry Sandusky incident at Penn State. What about the sociopath? Weren’t they genetically predisposed? The child abuser? The alcoholic? How come “being gay” permits a person freedom from moral constraints?

This is where people will accuse me of bigotry, hate speech, or unfairly imposing my personal morality on others. Rick Reilly said as much about Ron Brown,

Apparently, he can spew whatever bigoted, hateful, un-Christian message he wants, without risk of losing his job.

No, Ron Brown shouldn’t be fired. He should quit. He works for a school that welcomes homosexuals as equals. Which means he’s being paid by people who don’t share his moral values. He’s living a lie. He should retire from football and campaign full-time for our right to fire each other purely for being gay.

I don’t have gay friends. I do have friends who say they have homosexual urges, and I have acquaintances who act upon those urges. I know people who have felt and acted upon even more unnatural urges than those, but I don’t classify them by their urges or their actions. However, if given the opportunity I would address the error in their current or potential behavior. Just the same way I encourage people to avoid premarital heterosexual behavior or adultery. It’s all selfish sexual satisfaction and it’s destructive. (For a great report of CDC and medical studies about the profoundly unhealthy consequences of homosexual behavior read here) It’s a perversion of healthy sexuality. Healthy sexuality only happens within the marriage of one man to one woman until death separates them.

The problem with “being gay” is no one is actually gay. We all have sexual impulses that must be controlled, and those impulses do not define us. We cannot continue to allow people to dehumanize themselves to purely sexual beings.

The pro-choice crowd is upset with the White House for blocking over-the-counter access to the “Morning After Pill.” Former Assistant FDA commissioner for women’s health Susan Wood believes the decision is politically motivated (what isn’t these days?). Her article included an interesting paragraph:

“Let’s remember that Plan B is simply a higher dose of regular birth-control pills and works the same way, only immediately after unprotected sex, not before. Despite the scare tactics and misinformation campaigns being waged by the Catholic hierarchy and others who oppose allowing women to access contraception, Plan B is not the abortion pill (sometimes known as RU-486), and it will not interrupt a pregnancy.” [Source]

So, according to Wood, Plan B (the Morning After Pill) won’t interrupt a pregnancy. Let’s also remember she accused the Catholic hierarchy of using “Scare tactics” and “misinformation campaigns.”

If you’re careful enough to go to the prescribers section of the Plan B website, you’ll find the following explanation,

Plan B^® One-Step works primarily by:

• Preventing ovulation
• Possibly preventing fertilization by altering tubal transport of sperm and/or egg
• Altering the endometrium, which may inhibit implantation

I’ll come back to the tubal transport function, but first pay attention to the third function, “Altering the endometrium, which may inhibit implantation.” This means if conception occurs Plan B will have sufficiently thinned the endometrium and may prevent implantation. That, trusted readers, is an abortion.

This also comes from the Plan B site:

If it is taken as directed within 72 hours (3 days) after unprotected sex or contraceptive failure, it can significantly decrease the chance that you will become pregnant. About seven out of every eight women who would have gotten pregnant will not become pregnant. [Source]

I’m not statistician, but I’m pretty sure that means at least 10% of the time a woman uses Plan B she still becomes, or remains, pregnant. How many conceived children are killed by this “safe” drug? But Plan B really isn’t an abortion drug, just read the rest of their site.

Plan B One-Step^® is a backup plan that helps prevent pregnancy after unprotected sex or birth control failure. It contains levonorgestrel, the same ingredient found in many birth control pills. It should not affect or terminate an existing pregnancy. The sooner you take Plan B One-Step^®, the better it works. [Source]

Do not take Plan B One-Step^®:

• If you’re already pregnant, because it won’t work [Source]

There is no medical evidence that Plan B One-Step® would harm a developing baby. If you take Plan B One-Step® accidentally after you’re already pregnant, or it doesn’t work and you become pregnant, it’s not likely to cause any harm to you or your pregnancy. Plan B One-Step® will not disrupt or affect an existing pregnancy. [Source]

Plan B One-Step® isn’t effective if you’re already pregnant, and it won’t terminate an existing pregnancy... You should not take Plan B One-Step® if you are already pregnant. Plan B One-Step® should not be used as a routine birth control, as it is not as effective. If you have severe abdominal pain, you may have an ectopic pregnancy, and should get immediate medical help. [Source]

“It also may work by changing the lining of the uterus (womb) to prevent development of a pregnancy… - National Center for Biotechnology Information, U.S. National Library of Medicine

Even though Wood and the Plan B marketing team want you to believe this is a harmless, non-abortive drug, abortion is clearly one of its functions.  And it’s far from harmless. Remember this function?

“Possibly preventing fertilization by altering tubal transport of sperm and/or egg”

Also remember the warning in fine print, “If you have severe abdominal pain, you may have an ectopic pregnancy, and should get immediate medical help.” This is scary.

An ectopic pregnancy (notice the word pregnancy) is when the conceived child implants somewhere other than the uterus, usually in the Fallopian tube. (The medical community define this as a pregnancy even though the baby hasn’t reached the uterus, therefore the destruction of the child by preventing him from implanting in the uterine wall is the ending of a human life.) The woman’s reproductive system is amazing, stunning really. This is just a glimpse,

The ends of the fallopian tubes lying next to the ovaries feather into ends called fimbria (Latin for “fringes” or “fingers”). Millions of tiny hair-like cilia line the fimbria and interior of the fallopian tubes. The cilia beat in waves hundreds of times a second catching the egg at ovulation and moving it through the tube to the uterine cavity. [Source]

(Bear in mind, there is cilia in various places within the human body, but the ones at the end of the Fallopian tubes are uniquely long to perform their designed function. This isn’t random.)

Some suggest the scarring in the Fallopian tubes caused by Chlamydia increase a woman’s risk for ectopic pregnancy because the uninterrupted cilia highway has potholes that catch the newly conceived child. Others point to drugs like Plan B due to their self-described function of “altering the tubal transport of the sperm or egg.” If the sperm has already found the egg, conception has occurred and a life has begun. If Plan B performs now the child will remain in the tube and an ectopic pregnancy has been caused. Ectopic pregnancies, assuming a miscarriage doesn’t occur, are extremely dangerous for women, even fatal.

“There are little or no data on the risk of ectopic pregnancy following levonorgestrel  (Plan B drug of choice) treatment as an emergency contraception. We encountered three cases of ectopic pregnancy following the use of levonorgestrel administered peri- or postovulation. Here we report these cases and discuss the clinical and epidemiologic implications of this association. Health providers should be alert to the possibility of an ectopic pregnancy in women who become pregnant or complain of lower abdominal pain after taking levonorgestrel.” [Source]

Plan B self-acknowledges (if you know where to look) the abortive function of the drug. Medical professionals are aware of the inherent risk associated with levonorgestrel (Plan B) for ectopic pregnancies. Yet somehow it’s believed that it’s the “Catholic hierarchy” who are providing “misinformation campaigns” and “scare tactics.” You tell me what’s scarier, abstaining from sex until you’re married and experiencing a healthy, fulfilling sexual life; or taking a drug that might kill you or your child?

Maybe we should stop fighting for Plan B in the name of women’s rights and health, and start pushing for Plan A – Abstinence.

“We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defence, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.” (read the entire Constitution here.)

I’m not an expert on the Constitution. I don’t thrive when the Jeopardy category is U.S. History. Politics are like ear hair to me – something that I’m sure has a purpose but is most of the time annoying and unsightly. However, I want to ask you to think about something.

What’s the point of having the Constitution?

I thought it existed as a transcendent measuring line for future generations to compare themselves. I thought it was written to protect the founding values of our country and be the objective, proverbial line by which we govern. Isn’t that basically what it’s all about? If I am anywhere close to accurate, why aren’t we talking about it?

If you read a paper (as if anyone still does that), listen to talk radio, watch the political entertainment networks like FOX and CNN, or read the internet streams you’ll see the issues being debated:”War on women,” “class warfare,” “redistribution of wealth,” “foreign policy,” “Obamacare,” etc, etc, etc. Am I being too idealistic to wonder why we aren’t offering debate using the Constitution as our justification?

Liberal, Conservative, Libertarian, or Whig; shouldn’t our political conversation be centered on the Constitution? Shouldn’t it?

In all the grandstanding for political compromise, what we’re really yearning for is a renewed adherence to that ancient, yet profound document that framed our country. What “we the people want,” and frankly, what we need, is not random, issue driven compromise. We have a fictionalized “left” comparing themselves to a manufactured “right,” debating a theoretical ”middle.” This fabricated idea of compromise is nothing more than rhetoric. Deep down, we’re yearning for to get back to the Articles and Sections so thoughtfully put together in our Constitution. In truth, there isn’t a left and right; there’s the Constitution and ideas that get further and further removed from our founding principles. This idea is what brings the Sahara and Arctic of political ideas, Ron Paul and Bill Maher, to a common understanding.

Ron Paul is a conservative but most Republicans refuse to support him because of his foreign policy. However, I’ve yet to hear one of my Republican friends offer a constitutionally sound criticism of said policy. Almost to the person, I’ll hear, “I think Ron Paul’s great, but I can’t vote for him because of Israel.” Or, “Paul’s exactly right, except for his position on our military presence overseas.”

Most political southpaws would reject Paul’s position on the God-given, constitutionally upheld, sanctity of life – He’s a retried OBGYN who believes abortion is murder. However, they love his view on our military presence overseas and Israel. Maher, hyper liberal, applauds Paul, a strict Constitutionalist, and his foreign policy. I wonder it that’s the Constitution calling?

Hannity interrupts, Limbaugh boasts,
CNN blabbers, and Maher hosts (or at least used to),
all in an effort to generate revenue for their respective broadcast stations and themselves. Are they (and we) debating the constitutional integrity of a politician’s various positions? Nope. We’re arguing about the peripheral, buzz generating talking points. So Hillary Rosen has an ignorant, feminist view of stay at home moms and Ted Nugent is flirting with his inner John Wilkes Booth, what do they have to do with Obama, Romney, Paul, the citizens of the U.S.A., and the constitution?

When we hope for a politician with integrity, we’re asking for simple honesty, but we’re also asking for them to serve as the Constitution demands. When we want our government to be rid of hypocrisy, we’re just asking for them to look at that document and follow it. Is that asking too  much? Am I being unrealistic?

I believe the Constitution, while not infallible, is the best political document out there. I believe we are obligated as American citizens, and especially as elected officials in the United States government, to understand and adhere to it. We don’t need compromise; we need the  Constitution. What’s the point of having it if we’re not going to use it?

“His wife has actually never worked a day in her life. She’s never really dealt with the kinds of economic issues that a majority of the women in this country are facing in terms of how do we feed our kids, how do we send them to school and how do we . . .  why we worry about their future.” (source)

It’s the first sentence that has the talking heads shouting and I wanted to chime in. First of all, her words are being take a bit out of context and sensationalized for public consumption. The conversation was about her giving Mitt a pulse on women’s thinking when it comes to economics. Rosen was making the point that Ann’s opinion was irrelevant because she hadn’t been in the marketplace, and even if she had, the Romney’s bountiful checking account protected her from the burdens most American women face. Frankly, she’s probably right. However, I do think she showed her cards on the whole work issue and her beliefs are shared by many.

The American culture is completely driven by money. A wise old friend used to tell me, “If money isn’t important why are the roads crammed full at 8:00 and 5:00 every day?” We know it’s true, but rarely do we think about all the implications. Rosen’s comment let one of those implications slither out of the box – we determine someone’s societal value based on their ability to contribute financially, and far too many of our relationships are established or maintained based on a cost-benefit analysis.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard a young couple tell me they weren’t having more kids because they “couldn’t afford any more.” Of the 3,700 abortions that occur each day, a vast majority of them (93%) are because the child would be “inconvenient.” In most cases, the inconvenience is a financial one. Babies cost money and they don’t bring any in, so they don’t make sense in the cost-benefit analysis. One of the leading excuses for divorce is financial hardship. We work too many hours, to earn enough money to put the kids we do have in a day care, and feel like we’re doing our job. Well, we are, but we aren’t either.

I’ve been teaching a class on vocation for the last eleven weeks and I’ve established the idea that there are two classes of work: Domestic and Provision. They are equal in importance. Domestic work includes a child’s responsibilities in the home, a man’s obligations as a husband and a father, and a women’s role as a wife and mother. Provision work is the means by which basic needs are provided, normally through a typical J-O-B. Because it yields no financial dividends, our culture has denigrated the domestic vocation to some inhumane, oppressive drudgery to be avoided at all cost. Provision work is where we believe the figurative and literal money is.

One of, if not the, major factors for buying a new home is proximity to a good school (at least for young families).  A home in the district of an A-rated school can be between 50,000 and 300,000 more expensive than a comparable with a B-rated school. In order to afford the mortgage mom and dad both have to work. The ends justify the means. Question: Why do we think it’s important for our kids to be in a good school system? Answer: We want them to get into a good college.

A “good college” costs big bucks; I’ll spare you the statistics. Making sure we have enough to send our kids to a good college requires mom and dad to work even harder to bring home even more bacon. 40 hours become 60. All the while junior is being dropped off at 7:30, picked up at 6:00, fed and in bed by 7:30. Usually mom or dad (rarely both) get to spend a good hour or two with their child each day, while a group of professionals devote their Provision work to fulfilling our Domestic work. It’s insane. Question: Why do we want our kids to get into a good college? Answer: So they can get a good job.

We think of a good job as one that pays well and has benefits. This is where it gets particularly rich. Why do we want the good jobs? Answer: so we can afford a house in a good school district. Round and round we go… “When you comin’ home dad? I don’t know when…”

Rosen’s right, Ann Romney never worked a day in her life. That is, she never performed provision work a day in her life. Many think she wasted her life in chauvinistic servitude. That couldn’t be further from the truth. Her work was different, but it was work and it was important.

My wife works like a humming bird’s flight muscles. Her hours would make an NFL coach feel inadequate. Her skill set rivals the collective abilities of entire staffs. People praise Jordan for performing in the playoffs with flu-like symptoms. I’d like to see him pull off what Jeni does every day, while pregnant. She’s a super hero.

I’m sick of our culture demeaning women for choosing to devote themselves to their domestic vocation. It’s irresponsible and ignorant for the feminist crowd to criticize a woman for choosing kids over a career. It doesn’t help pay the bills, but life’s about more than paying bills.

A mother’s domestic work is a noble vocation and  those who embrace it are worthy of our highest respect.

(Just for clarification, I am in no way saying that anytime a woman pursues a career she is doing something wrong. I am saying our culture, and the feminist movement in particular, is wrong to say that a woman is discrediting her gender when she chooses to stay at home.)

We tend to focus on the Fridays. We’re great in the days immediately after a friend loses a loved one. A card is sent, we mourn with them at the funeral, and a warm meal is left on their kitchen counter; we’re great on the Fridays. The moment we learn our friend’s diagnosis we might literally drop what we’re doing and be there. If a shoulder is needed, it’s ours. If they need a meal, we’ll cook it. A ride to the hospital is in our car. Their pain becomes ours, until Saturday.

Everyone else’s life goes on. They’ve got errands to run, jobs that need them, and laundry wrinkling on the floor. But not yours, your life is stuck in this Saturday netherworld. Errands are unimportant, jobs can wait, and you couldn’t care less if your pants need ironing. The moment has passed; you’re all alone, haunted by Friday’s event and taunted by a tomorrow that never seems to come.

Job’s Friday was as terrible as the world has ever seen. He lost his farm, his kids, and his health in quick succession. I imagine there are some who survived Katrina or last year’s tornados who know Job’s heartache, no job, no family, no hope. The rest of Job’s story, most of it anyway, takes place on his Saturday. His wife, broken-hearted in her own right, sums it up in four profound words, “Curse God and die!”

Friday’s burn us, singing our spirits and scalding our hearts. Saturday’s are lived in the bitter chill of isolation. They say there are no atheists in fox holes, but I bet there are plenty lying helpless on hospital beds. Left alone with our thoughts, it’s easy to drown in self-pity or anger. If there is a God, why… why did he let this happen? Why didn’t he stop it? Doesn’t he care?

Jesus died on a Friday. Today we call it good, but for those who spent time with him good was the farthest thing from their minds. Saturday came in a hurry. Their king had been crucified. Their savior was dead. Was he a fraud? Was it a three-year charade? How had they been so foolish, so gullible? Mary lost a son. James lost a brother. John lost a dear friend. Fraud or not, they loved the bleeding, swollen man hanging on those wretched nails. A few wept, most scattered. If their leader could be lynched, they might be next.  “Curse God,” Peter denied he ever knew him. “And die,” Judas hung himself. Good Friday? Not on Saturday it isn’t.

Life on Earth is a string of Fridays and Saturdays: pain, heartache, loneliness. Cancer, Alzheimer’s, and A.L.S. tornados, hurricanes, earthquakes, and Tsunamis. Anger, abandonment, and abuse. Judas’ reaction makes sense, Job’s wife offered sound advice… if their hadn’t been Sunday.

Sunday changed everything. The tomb was opened and Jesus had risen. Death was defeated by the son of God. A terrible Friday and lonely, hopeless Saturday were followed by the holiest of all Sundays. The day the curse was broken. The day death lost its sting. The day Heaven became possible and God’s kingdom drew near. On Sunday, Saturday doesn’t seem so long and Friday’s not so terrible.

Today is great for reflection; remembering loved ones we’ve lost, acknowledging brokenness in our body, and recognizing evil in the world; We have all had Friday moments. But it’s also a day to look forward; anticipating seeing our loved ones again, praying against the brokenness in our body and anticipating a healing today or in eternity, and rejoicing in evil’s eventual defeat. A little over 2,000 years ago, Sunday flipped the world on its ear. Jesus rose from the dead and hope won forever.

If you’ve had a Friday recently, or if you’re in a Saturday moment; can I encourage you? Know that Sunday is coming, in either this life or the next, it’s coming. Cancer might take your hair, but don’t let if crush your spirit. Alcohol might have stolen your child, but don’t let it steal your heart. Maybe you inflicted pain on yourself, carrying regret or guilt as if it were required. It’s not. You need carry it no longer. Jesus carried in on the cross, drug it kicking and screaming to the tomb, and left it there. Yours no more.

Tomorrow we celebrate that Sunday, but the truth is we’re living in the Sunday era. Job was given back what he lost, and then some. Peter was reinstated and given a great honor. You were bought for a price, and are an heir to the Kingdom of God. If you’re carrying Friday’s pain or Saturday’s guilt, let Jesus’ Sunday have it. Salvation is available to you, in fact it’s available to “whosoever believes.” If you’re reading this you qualify. God does care. No one can answer exactly why your particular pain occurred, but we can tell you God understands. He too knows scorn, heartache, and the death of a loved one. He knows what it is to be alone, abandoned, and abused. He had His Saturday alone, so you wouldn’t face an eternity that way.

If you have any questions, please comment or send me a message. You could also find a church to sneak into tomorrow morning. I promise they’ll be expecting you. But whatever you do, don’t keep living without Sunday.

Kathryn was a vocalist in the student’s band and her love for singing poured into her love for theatre. I didn’t know what she was singing (It’s in Italian.), but Kathryn loved to perform a playful, hyper dramatic rendition of Andrea Bocelli’s song ”Time to Say Goodbye.” A few years after her graduation, for Kathryn, it was time to say goodbye to her reputation and her identity.

She was living in Atlanta working in the hospitality industry. There are buildings in Atlanta with a higher population than Highlands. She found a place, found a man, and eventually found herself in a tough position. Kathryn was pregnant. Pure no more.

How would she tell her father? What would her small town friends think? Her reputation would be tarnished, her identity scarred. How does the all American, quintessential church girl tell those who love and support her she’s become a statistic?

Half a century earlier and halfway around the world a young pregnant woman was in the hospital for an attack of appendicitis. This was her first child, she had to be scared. The medical staff treated her stomach with ice before the doctors offered their advice, “Your baby’s likely going to be born with a disability, the best solution is to abort.” The young mother, likely lying on a gurney with ice on her pregnant belly, was asked to consider killing her child. Her world had to be spinning. However, the brave, young woman rejected their advice and gave birth to her first son. The day was September 22, 1958.

September 2011, Kathryn found herself on a hospital bed, scared out of her mind and overwhelmed with anticipation and joy. It’s the paradoxical emotion of every mother in labor. In the age of abortion, Kathryn’s pregnancy was one that typically ends that way. It was impractical, unplanned, and in most cases unwanted. But Kathryn is far from typical. A poor choice in January was followed by maturity, wisdom, and courage. Maturity, wisdom, and courage were followed by a six pound, two ounce darling little girl named Aria. Aria means air.

I want to live like this with the sun on my face, and I sing happily, gracefully. I want to live like this, with the air of the mountains, because this enchantment doesn’t cost anything.

Those lyric’s come from a song Andrea Bocelli sings to his children. He played it for an audience after sharing that the aforementioned mother with appendicitis was his mother, and the baby the doctors wanted to abort was him. Andrea and Aria had uncommon pregnancies. Andrea and Aria had uncommon mothers. He said, “The song is beautiful because it’s a joyful song that expresses happiness.” I say that’s why these mothers are.

Before he played, he shared his heart, “Maybe I’m partisan, but I can say it was the right choice. And I hope this could encourage many mothers that sometimes find themselves in difficult situations, in those moments when life’s complicated, but want to save the life of their baby.”

I share his hope.

Kathryn and Aria just days after her birth. Pure. Air. Beautiful.

Obviously she’s referring to the issue of homosexual activity; what are we saying or doing that makes her believe we’re teaching our kids hatred and lies?  I doubt anyone intends to send that message, yet somehow that’s what’s coming across.

How does the belief that mothers are important and necessary turn into a Satanic ploy to rob women of hope? What are we saying or doing that’s perpetuating this confusion? Do people outside the church really believe we want to oppress women?

the comment with this picture was, "if only..."

You’ll have to take my word for it, but if you saw the collection of pictures and comments on this fb account you would know he is implying that Christians are the ones violating the message on the shirt. Are we contributing to his belief that Christians, and therefore Christ, is hateful? Why do people interpret the church’s message the way they do? (I chose the word church intentionally, by the way.) Why is there such a disconnect?

Finally, I came across this video. I don’t know what happened before the camera was turned on, but the video shows the riot police escorting a Christian group out of a neighborhood known for homosexual activity while being challenged by the residents. Footage of Castro District protest. (the language gets pretty rough at the end)

The questions stirred once more. Why were these people so mad? They wouldn’t be angry if a group of baseball fans were gathering in their neighborhood. Yet somehow, the existence of a group of Christians set them off. My guess is the Christians weren’t there to preach hate, but it must have come off that way. Pardon the metaphor, but if this were a marriage, there would be serious need for some communication counseling.

The message is getting confused, and I had similar feelings after writing my article about Komen and Planned Parenthood. There was a disconnect occurring between my ideas and they way they were being interpreted. Apparently I’m not alone. Jesus had a message to share with the world. It wasn’t primarily about feeding the poor. And it wasn’t primarily about rejecting homosexual behavior. Jesus’ message was that He is the means of salvation for mankind and we need to believe in Him. Somehow, the message of Jesus is being confused with the agendas of the church, and the church is losing her effectiveness.

Here’s where I see some problems:

1) The church (collection of individual believers) is not being consistent in their personal application of Biblical truth. We protest the idea of gay marriage and turn our heads to the epidemic of divorce and remarriage. When Jesus spoke on marriage, and He defined it as one man and one woman (our justification for heterosexual union), He also said it was for life. We cannot keep fighting for half the message. (There are plenty of other examples, but this is the most obviously inconsistent.)

2) The church is in rebellion when it comes to discipline and doctrine. We’ve become so enamored with “church growth” and being “seeker friendly” that we’ve compromised the truth. Our pews are filled with Hypocritical Christians like the ones I described in my first point. They are also frequented by Theoretical Christians. These are the folks who proclaim Christ, but have no idea what their proclamation means. They’re ignorant of the Bible, and content with that reality. They don’t understand what God has said, yet boast as if they are fully aware. (Don’t confuse the new believer with the Theoretical Christian. The Theoretical Christian has been around a while, yet still is spiritually immature.) Unfortunately, their leaders are content to let them remain as they are. Both the Hypocritical Christian and the Theoretical Christian are corrupting the message of Jesus, and the problem is feeble church leadership. Pastors, elders, bishops, or whomever is providing leadership in God’s church need to stop being cowards, stop worrying about budget needs, and start preaching and applying truth.

3) Stop hiding. Somewhere along the lines of history, we’ve bought into the idea of playing life close to the vest. We’re afraid to let anyone know we’re not perfect, and we’re afraid to share our lives with people. We scurry to work, race back home, make an appearance at a church, speed home again, and make sure not to develop any true friendships along the way. Why can’t we talk about our marriages, our money, our kids, or our hopes and fears? This is a major factor with my second point, and it hurts our witness. The Bible says they will know we are Christ’s disciples by our love for each other. How’s that look in your life right now?

4) We’ve got to get to know people. There’s a time and place for sidewalk preachers, public prayer vigils, and silent protests. However, the critics are right when they point out Jesus’ friendship with sinners. Christians, we must develop relationships with those who don’t share our hope. Very few people have a testimony of coming to faith after a sidewalk confrontation. While many of us tell of people who loved us, listened to us, answered our questions, tolerated our nonsense, shared truth with us, and led us to the message of Jesus. I understand, and totally support, the idea that people must understand sin before they will accept a savior. We cannot present a false message of sin tolerance. However, we are not tolerating sin by being someone’s friend. There are times when I pray for my friends, times when I debate with my friends, and times when I play with my friends. Some conversations need to be about Jesus, but not all of them. Don’t be afraid to share the truth, but also be willing to share a pizza.

5) We must pray. We can debate, preach, admonish, protest, and lobby till elephants learn to type, but it will always be the Holy Spirit’s job to convict of sin and righteousness. Paul didn’t shy away from an apologetic sermon, and he wasn’t afraid to confront sin, but the man prayed like a pregnant woman eats pickles – constantly. I’m not saying to be silent. How can they hear if no one tells them? I’m just saying don’t forget to pray for them.

6) Stop inviting and start being. I speak of our flipped-turned-upside-down view of evangelism. Stop inviting your friends to church, and start being the church to your friends. The Bible repeatedly teaches to “love your neighbor as yourself,” well… do it. Bake some brownies, walk next door, knock, introduce yourself, give them the brownies, exchange phone numbers, and invite them… INTO YOUR HOME. Share a meal, share your stories, and develop a friendship. You’ll get a chance to invite them to church, once you show them the church is worth knowing about.

Will doing these things change the world tomorrow? No. But maybe if we began applying these ideas, Jesus’ message wouldn’t be misunderstood so much. Maybe people wouldn’t see the church as an agency of hate anymore? People will always disagree with God’s standards; if Jesus wasn’t immune to it, neither will you be. But, we want people resisting the message of Jesus, not resisting the agenda of people claiming to represent Him.

I’m about halfway through Francis Collins book, The Language of God. Collins is the PhD who is the head of the Human Genome Project, and his book provides, what he considers to be, clear evidence for God’s existence. I was intrigued by the book’s premise, but the ideas proposed are wrestling with the ideas inhabiting my mind for control of my thinking, believing, and behaving.

Basically, Collins is a firm believer in Darwinian Evolution – the idea that all life – the weeping willow and William Wallace – shares a common ancestor. He tries to build bridges between the dogmatic naturalist and dogmatic super naturalist with the materials of genetics. It’s compelling information. He got me to revisit Galileo, to rehash the literal 24 hour day interpretation of Genesis, and reexamine my established battle lines. It’s been hard to think about anything else. I wanted to write a lucid article that would once and for all end the debate, and free everyone to pursue truth. But, I’m not qualified to have a bagel with these guys, much less write a rebuttal. So, I’m deferring to Ken Boa.

He holds a Bachelor of Science degree from Case Institute of Technology , a Master of Theology degree from Dallas Theological Seminary , a Doctorate fromNew York University , and a Doctor of Philosophy degree from the University of Oxford in England. He’s the single most intelligent, well read human I’ve ever had the privilege of speaking with, and he calls Georgia home – bonus. He’s as comfortable talking with a biochemist as he is with a film critic. He’s a remarkable man.

The article I want to encourage you to read is titled, The Evolution Revolution: Naturalism and the Questions of Origins. It’s a brief history of Galileo, Darwin, the Scopes Trial, the Big Bang, literal interpretation of Genesis, and other issues I wish I was better qualified to teach. The following passage, taken from the article, spoke to my concerns and might entice you to read.

The Bible is regarded by Christians as the unerring or infallible written revelation from God; theology is the very human, fallible enterprise of interpreting and applying the teachings of the Bible. Similarly, the physical universe, or nature, was created by God and therefore reflects his truth in all its data; science, though, is the all too human, fallible enterprise of interpreting the data of nature. Thus, the data of Scripture and the data of nature, since both come from God, may be regarded as fully reliable and consistent with one another, while our interpretations of either or both Scripture and nature may be inconsistent or in error.

(The images were pulled of Ken Boa’s website. Unfortunately, I only nabbed the thumbnails, but his site is rich with beautiful images. And, he provides hundreds of resources, even books, for free.)

Ten years ago today, Jeni and I said, “I do.” Next, we declared out vows – promises to stay together regardless of the trials we might face. As I prepared a compilation CD of songs that tell our story, I was taken aback by the mountains we’ve had to climb. We’ve lost many of the friends and family who shared our wedding day with us. We’ve moved across the country twice, and around the southeast twice as well. We’ve lived in at least seven different houses, welcomed four children into the world, been witness to churches crumbling, walked with friends as they fought for their marriages, wept with friends as they lost a child, wrestled with our oldest son having a severe brain injury, suffered heartbreak from friends, been let down by our sources of support, lived in my in-laws living room, faced unemployment, hurt with my sister when she broke her back, and more moments that found us digging for silver linings.

Our first year might have been the toughest. Jeni and I moved from Florida to Minnesota, built and remodeled a house, and faced unexpected job difficulties. These factors, combined with our immaturity, led to hours with a marriage counselor and many tear-soaked pillows. We learned quickly, marriage isn’t easy.

Year two brought the excitement of our first son, Caedmon, and the numbing fear of potentially losing him. Normal parenting for us has always included developmental specialists, physical therapy appointments, medical research, and wheelchairs. Many know our experience, others often say, “I don’t know how you do it.” (A big part of the answer is Jeni’s a Supermom.)

Here’s all I want to say; when Jeni and I said we would be married “till death do us part,” we meant it. No exceptions. What I learned, going back over all the hills we’ve climbed, is that we could have quit many, many times. Most people wouldn’t have thought any less of us if we broke under the pressure and went our separate ways. But it was never an option. Jeni mentioned how strong and significant our love is today, different and deeper than ever before. She’s so right. We had no idea what love was ten years ago, and that’s what the vows were for.

Our mutual promise carried us through the hardships so we could reach this plateau, and enjoy the view. I have no idea what the next ten years will bring, but I know whose hand I’ll be holding. I made a Forever Vow to Jeni, and only death will break it.

I know there are many who are struggling for their marital lives out there. Some are feeling the pain of infidelity, some are feeling the pinch of financial instability, some are wrestling with fears that their spouse isn’t the person they thought they were. I know it’s hard, but remember your vow. There are times it can feel like a burden, and that’s okay. I often get annoyed putting on a life vest, but when trouble comes, I’m sure glad it’s there.

Jimmy Valvano said, “Don’t give up. Don’t ever give up.” He was speaking to those fighting cancer. Can I say those words to you? No matter what you’re facing, you promised, just like I did, to stay together till death parted you. Trust the promise. One day you’ll reach the top, and the view will take your breath away.

People break down into two groups. When they experience something lucky, group number one sees it as more than luck, more than coincidence. They see it as a sign, evidence, that there is someone up there, watching out for them. Group number two sees it as just pure luck. Just a happy turn of chance. I’m sure the people in group number two are looking at those fourteen lights in a very suspicious way. For them, the situation is a fifty-fifty. Could be bad, could be good. But deep down, they feel that whatever happens, they’re on their own. And that fills them with fear. Yeah, there are those people. But there’s a whole lot of people in group number one. When they see those fourteen lights, they’re looking at a miracle. And deep down, they feel that whatever’s going to happen, there will be someone there to help them. And that fills them with hope. See what you have to ask yourself is what kind of person are you? Are you the kind that sees signs, that sees miracles? Or do you believe that people just get lucky? – Graham Hess (Signs)

My wife likes the band Casting Crowns, a lot. We found out they would be in Tallahassee back in the fall and like a child anticipating Christmas, Jeni began marking the days. I wanted to take her, but money’s short, so about a month before the concert I began to specifically and privately ask God for tickets.

Every time one of their songs came on the radio I asked God to encourage Jeni with those tickets. The closer the show date came, the more I doubted, both my prayers and my motives. Did God really hear me? Did he care about silly tickets when people were starving? Was I only “praying about it” because it was for Jeni where I would just buy them if it was for me?

A few days before the show, Jeni reemphasized her desire to go. I told her of my spiritual and marital dilemma, and she felt we shouldn’t press the matter. I felt even more guilty. Last Saturday (concert day) rolls around and still no tickets. Finally, at about 4:00, I crack. I rounded up a pair of babysitters and told Jeni we were going. My justification was a $50 Visa gift card I’d received at Christmas – technically, the money wouldn’t come out of our budget.

Ticketmaster wouldn’t let me buy tickets so close to showtime, so we had to stop at Wal*Mart. We were on our way at about 5:20, arrived about fifteen minutes later, and after a ten minute deliberation settled on the cheap seats, because they only cost $53. We left Wal*Mart at about 5:55 and headed to dinner. Not five minutes later, as we pulled into the restaurant the theme song from Jurassic Park began playing from my cell phone.

My friend, Jake, was on the line and told me he was just given four free tickets and hoped Jeni and I would go with them. I believe my exact reply was, “You’ve got to be kidding.” I told him our situation, he told me they would keep looking for someone to go, and Jeni and I sat down to dinner, seasoned with second guessing. Why didn’t I trust God? Why am I such a spiritual buffoon? When will I learn?

We arrived at the civic center and Jake still hadn’t found any takers, so we sold ours – a mother and daughter bought them for $40. I did some spiritual and economic gymnastics to show Jeni how we actually came out ahead, make way for Ryan Lou Retton. We spent $53, but $50 was on the gift card so it doesn’t hurt our budget. We spent another $20 on dinner, plus the $3 from the tickets for a total of $23. We just sold the tickets for $40, resulting in a $17 cash flow increase. Yahoo! (I’m thinking about running for congress)

The show was  fun, and Jeni rated the whole night a “10.” But the reason I shared is to see if there’s any spiritual truth to learn. I’ve concluded there’s no formula for prayer to be derived. I’ve also concluded there’s no benefit in second guessing myself. So, was there no spiritual merit at all? Then it hit me, just be grateful.

But now the question was, and is, to whom should I be grateful? I was glad Jake thought of us, glad that family gave him the tickets,  glad our baby sitters came at the last-minute, glad that mom and daughter bought our tickets, etc. I was grateful to each of them, but I think God deserves thanks too.

This is why I opened with the quote from Signs. Some might thank “their lucky stars” after experiencing something like this, but I believe God exists and He loves us. The Luck Stars Crowd say my faith is silly, a crutch, or illogical, and that’s there prerogative. And maybe I am wrong, and maybe it was simply a cosmic coincidence, but I believe it was God reminding us that He cares. I won’t thank lucky stars, because there’s a loving Father to thank who provided a blessing, and a lesson.

If you’re interested, this is a new song Casting Crowns played at the show, I think it’s a beautiful story. Just Another Birthday